A Day in the Life of
by Kisoku no Yanagi
Summary: A collection of ficlets about the everyday lives of some of the Naruto characters.
1. Uchiha Itachi

**A Day in the Life of Uchiha Itachi**

Another ficlet by Kisoku no Yanagi

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Uchiha Itachi is many things. He is a murderer. He is a criminal. He is a minorly main character in the famous comic series, Naruto. He is an object to be lusted after.

And we are here to document one of his normal days.

Itachi: I demand compensation for this.

Shut up, you. And so, onwards!

Everyday, Itachi wakes up at exactly 4:00 AM. Because his blood pressure is extremely low, Itachi sits around in a daze for a while.

Before the Uchiha massacre, Itachi would then proceed to train for the whole day, unless he had a mission. He would eat dinner at 9:00 PM. Breakfast, lunch, recreation, free time, and enjoyment were not apart of his vocabulary.

Now though, since joining the Akatsuki, his day is usually much more interesting.

After sitting in a daze for a while, Itachi will then eat a stick of Pocky. It is always a single stick, and it is always eaten from the non-flavored side first.

Then, Uchiha Itachi will brush his teeth. Yes, even bad-ass uber-villains have to brush their teeth. How else do you think they all have those perfect chompers? And so, for the next thirty minutes, Uchiha Itachi brushes his teeth.

Then, it's off to the Akatsuki mess hall. Here, Itachi will eat another stick of Pocky. He will methodically remove the flavoring through long, slow licks, and then will swallow the rest of it whole.

After finishing the Pocky, Itachi will always go to the 'Fun Room' of the Akatsuki Lair. Kisame will always be there watching documentaries on shark mating, and so Itachi will stay there, and terrorize him.

When it's time for lunch, Itachi will first wash his hands, methodically polishing his skin with soap and warm water. He will dry them off with a fluffy pink towel, and then he will look in the mirror. If he finds his reflection satisfactory, he will go to the mess hall. If he does not, he will stay in the bathroom and primp himself until he does find himself satisfied.

After going into the mess hall, Itachi will receive a plate of food from both Sasori and Deidara, the Akatsuki cooks. Itachi will usually eat Deidara's, and will not eat Sasori's. More than likely, Deidara's would blow up in his face as he raised it to his lips, but Sasori's would probably change him into a puppet.

After finishing his lunch, Itachi will brush his teeth. He will floss his teeth too, removing any stray pieces of food. After doing so, he will take a crap.

Upon leaving the bathroom, Uchiha Itachi will head over to the Art Studio, and he will strike mortal fear into Deidara and Sasori by threatening to destroy their puppets and sculptures.

((Itachi: Hey! I did not take their lunch money!))

After that, Itachi will write a letter to Sasuke. Occasionally, he will send him a gift, like an eyeball, or a severed toe. On these occasions, he will usually also write an exceedingly long letter, detailing exactly how he got these things.

After that, Itachi will go to each of the other Akatsuki member's rooms and say goodnight. Then he will go back to bed, and practice putting in his contacts for half an hour, because his sight is going.

And then, he will go to sleep.

((ME:...Oh my god, that was pathetic! Is that really how you spend your day, Itachi!

ITACHI: ...Yes.))

**

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THE END **

**Well. This calls for a celebration. I found inspiration. I know it's a bit short, but I couldn't think of anything else to put in.**

**Seta: I'll call a caterer.**

**Gojyo: I'll get the beer.**

**Kratos: I'll cook.**

**Itachi: I'll wallow here in depression, because my home life has been found out.**

**Oh, shut up, you big baby. Well, please review, as usual.**

**Itachi: And please flame, as well.**

**...I'm not even going to waste any time telling you to shut up, Mr. Pink Towel.**


	2. Akasuna no Sasori

**A Day in the Life of Akasuna no Sasori**

Chapter Two of A Day in the Life of:

By Kisoku no Yanagi

Hi! Last we left off, Itachi's normal day had been thoroughly examined, and it came out very boring. You'd think a S-Class nukenin would have a bit more excitement in his life.

And so, we have come to see what the life of one of Itachi's comrades, Akasuna no Sasori, is usually like.

Onwards!

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When Sasori was still a non-missing-nin, he would usually wake up to the sound of swirling sands and several thousand crickets dying. He would then check the time, and making sure that he had not overslept, he would pull himself up using strings of chakra.

His parents already being dead, Sasori would then make himself a wholesome breakfast of instant coffee, toast, and eggs. No bacon, for Sasori was a vegetarian.

After eating breakfast, Sasori would then don the facade of Hiruko, keeping his true face a secret. Plus, he got a strange rush out of scaring little kids.

After putting on the giant puppet, Sasori would take a walk. He would also scout out any promising potential puppets. He would then invite them into his house, or, if his search had been fruitless, take a bath in the local hot spring.

After this, he would go back home. There, he would read a book or watch a movie, and try his hand at some poetry. Haiku, mainly, though he did sometimes branch out into some of the vaguer areas.

While reading his abysmal poetry to himself in the mirror, Sasori would also brush the hair of his various puppets, and give them various layers of paint and polish. Maintaining his puppets was very important to Sasori.

After this, he would usually eat a gluttonous dinner, indulging in chocolates and meat-free lasagna.

Brushing his teeth came after, and a good flossing often followed.

His day complete, Akasuna no Sasori would go to sleep, wrapped in a purple blanket, and wearing scorpion imprinted pajamas.

Fast forward a few decades.

Akasuna no Sasori does not go to sleep at all, though we shall still begin in the morning.

Every morning, the sun will rise upon Sasori trying furiously to redo Hiruko's hair, because it always comes apart overnight. This will usually take a while, as Sasori uses razor-wire for the separate strands of hair, so he must be very careful as he styles his pet puppet's hair.

When this task is complete, the former Sand-nin will order take-out from the local Chinese restaurant. Always veggie-only dishes, for even now, Sasori is still a vegetarian.

After eating his unorthodox breakfast, Sasori will floss Hiruko's teeth, and then carve little statues out of wood. He will then transform them into puppets, and use them to scare little kids who lived in the Red Moon Hotel down the road.

He no longer feels a rush. He feels a trickle.

Looking in the mirror after this, Sasori decides that he looks old. He will then contact the Akatsuki's personal cosmetician, and have some plastic surgery performed on him.

While his skin is being pulled, and his pores being blocked, Sasori reads a magazine. Difficult, when your eyes are being covered by hands and oils and ointments, but Sasori is a shinobi, and he adapts. By cutting off the cosmetician's hands. The Akatsuki are rich, after all. They can hire another.

After putting aside his magazine, and doing a small jig to the whimpers of the former employee, Sasori will go to the Rec Room. There, he will usually play a few games of pool with Kisame or Zetsu. Usually, he wins, due to connecting strings of chakra to his hands. At this point, Kisame will usually break the table, and Zetsu will attempt to eat him, but he doesn't mind. It's life, after all.

After this, Sasori will surf the Internet, and post in several forums. He has never outgrown the geekiness that surfaced during puberty.

After posting until his fingers are sore, Sasori will sit down, and stare at a blank wall while muttering to himself. More often than not, he hits his head once or twice, and throws a few apple cores into Deidara's room.

Then, the day begins anew, and the routine repeats itself. Kami bless thee, Akasuna no Sasori.

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**Phew. Second chapter done. I hope this is a bit better...**

**Itachi: Why did you pick on me?**

**Because I felt like it.**

**Kratos: And because you're blind.**

**Itachi: You shut up. Just because you can see, and I can't, is no reason to pick on me.**

**Kratos: No, the reason I'm picking on you is because YOU killed Lloyd!**

**WHAT! How could you, Itachi?**

**Itachi: Well, I thought it'd shut Kratos up.**

**Well, now he mopes around, and doesn't cook for us! Is that any better!**

**Itachi: ...No, I guess not.**

**Duh. Well, as always, please review, minna-san!**

**Itachi: Don't forget to flame.**

**No.**

**Itachi: Not even a little?**

**No. **

**Itachi: Not even-**

**NNOOO! Now go back to sleep before I give away all your Pocky!**

**Itachi: Meanie.**


End file.
